Cole and Sav by Cole Labrant

Author:Cole Labrant
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Thomas Nelson
Published: 2018-09-04T16:00:00+00:00

Savannah

When Cole first told me he was flying out, I tried to stop him. “No, no, no,” I said. “Don’t do that. We’ll figure it out.” But Cole didn’t want to figure it out. He wanted to work it out. There’s a big difference. He is the kind of person who wants to work through everything all at once and fix it. Me, I would rather just go to sleep and wake up, and it’s a new day. I really did not want to talk about all of this face-to-face because my mind flashed back to my ex-boyfriend, who would blow up and punch holes in walls and lose his temper if I even looked at another guy. Even though I knew Cole was not that guy, we had not had any kind of real issues up to this point. I thought I knew how he’d react, but you never know.

When I picked up Cole at the airport, I met him at the baggage claim as usual. He kissed and hugged me, but things were tense. We didn’t have our usual laughing, hugging, crying reunion. And I could tell he’d been crying. Cole’s usual self is so happy, so joyful. It pained me to see him this way because I knew he was hurting. Even the car ride was super-awkward. This was definitely not a visit we’d put on YouTube.

Finally Cole said, “Okay, I need to know everything.” I explained that after one of my breakups with Tommy a year ago, I had met another guy, and we dated for a few months. I had been so hurt from Tommy that I gave this new guy everything. Tommy found out about him, and things turned physical between them. Then Tommy gave me his usual “I’ve changed; please take me back” speech, and I did. As I told Cole my story, I tried to put myself in his position. I wondered how I would react if I was a virgin and had never had a boyfriend before and this guy I loved just dropped all this information on me. I would have been heartbroken. I don’t know how I could have handled it.

But Cole, he handled it beautifully. We talked through everything, and we cried a lot, and he held me, and when it was over, it was over. He didn’t shame me about it or treat me any differently. He said, “We’re good. I love you, and we’re good.”

I felt a huge weight had been lifted off me. Secrets in a relationship can eat you up and tear you apart. Before I finally confessed to Cole, I felt like I was lying to him every day. I felt ashamed of myself and wondered why I hadn’t told him already. By that point I was too embarrassed to say anything, which made me feel horrible about keeping my secret from him. Now that everything was out in the open, my past truly was completely in the past. Cole forgave me for not telling him before, but he also never held my past against me.

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